It's been awhile since I've written for various reasons. Perhaps there hasn't been enough peace in my life.....more chaos. That is, more chaos around me, not within. Chaos of everyday life from activities with the kids, weddings, funerals, holidays, chatter.....so much chatter and noise. Some of the chaos can be good, while some of it clouds my mind. I prefer the peace of being and learning. The need for me to write has been overshadowed by other stuff.....the stuff of life, but I prefer the peace. Oh how I prefer the peace. Recently, I came to realize that peace is always within. It is there....within......but we have to take time in our lives to recognize it or the chaos can consume us. For many people the chaos is always center stage, but I can't live like that. Frankly, I can't breathe when I'm around the chaos. Ultimately, I try to wrap myself inside a shell, and I avoid it as much as possible. Others interpret that as hurtful or aloofness, but if they only understood. I am understanding, but the fast-paced world doesn't grasp that. Isn't that curious? All the drugs, pain killers and alcohol that are produced and taken daily in this country, and if we only realized that peace is there all along. That peace and love is there all along.
The weeks and months since Chrissy's passing have changed me. The moment she passed my old world didn't exist anymore.......my old way of thinking and living. A part of me died that early morning when her body died. I know without a doubt her spirit lives eternally, and it's so difficult for some of us to grasp that, especially in the intense pain of not seeing her in the flesh, but I know with all my heart.....she lives on. In the beginning of this journey when she was sick, I prayed so intently and begged for so much, not realizing the plan was already set. My hopes of her being here in the flesh were not meant to be, yet a far greater plan was in place. In the time that has passed, I've learned a great deal about myself. I long for peace, and in a world that screams chaos; it has beem challenging to find that peace......a peace that's always there and given. Ironic, isn't it? What happens, though, is that everyday life sometimes pushes us farther and farther from our true selves.....from God. That statement right there is what I can't seem to grasp. I have no problem setting up camp right here in my home, with my own peeps, but God doesn't want that for me, and I realize that. It's the setting foot out in the world that frightens me, especially when so much value is placed on financial success, career success, parental success.....a success which I think has become skewed. Society places so much value on careers, sports teams, beating everyone else to the punch that I think eternal love for human kind is becoming a joke. Look at all the chaos on our reality television. I ask myself what is this world will be like when my children grow up.
So rather than giving it lip service, I have made a conscious decision to find peace, stillness and pause daily so that perhaps it can become contagious within my own family. If my kids see it, then they'll pass it along and so on and so on........
Wouldn't that be great? If all of us stopped and really made daily conscious decisions in our life instead of going fast all the time, living in a fog, and doing what we think others expect of us. How sad for those that never stop. While they think they're doing God's work successfully; they're missing the boat. My hope is to live peacefully, and perhaps our world will live peacefully as well. It takes one person, doesn't it? Now imagine more. Peace or chaos? I know which one I prefer. Now can you figure out for yourselves where you are?
No comments:
Post a Comment