Do you realize the difference you can make in other people's lives: with your friends, your neighbors, your own family and yes, even strangers? That could mean in a positive or negative way, and so many times we miss that opportunity because we're not paying attention, and we have so much power to make positive changes for others. Chrissy and I used to talk about what we would do after our kids were grown and they were all in school. We always wondered if we were doing the mom thing right. When your parent isn't there to ask, you find yourself always wondering that question. We shared our interests and passions while watching our kids play together, mostly feeling inadequacies about ourselves. Not knowing how we were going to change the world, how we were going to make a difference, that was our underlying struggle. Her deepest joy was to work with children with special needs as well as with typical students. Often, she would share her stories of volunteering at her kids' school, and I could see how much she loved helping students, having friendly conversations, being real with them. I knew how she made a difference for some of those students, who may not have been able to share with their own teacher or their parents. She had also established her charity called RAISE, Inc., which helped support epilepsy research, but that was put to the back burner when she became ill. I thought it was a huge accomplishemnt on her part, but she never took much credit for what she had done to make that happen. I was so very proud of her and the hard work it took to put that charity in action, even though short lived. That alone was God working through her. Awhile back, she worked for Special School District for a short period dealing with students who had various challenges. She did her hair styling and worked in a medical office, but she never felt she was completely satisfied with her latter career choices. Her passion was to become a teacher if she were to choose a career. She did eventually go back to school, but she didn't acquire her teaching degree because raising her own children without distractions was more important to her as it was to me. I am not a powerhouse of a woman who can juggle it all, but I give credit to those who try to work outside the home and keep their kids and house in order. I also respect the moms who stay home, and make the budget work with one income and keep their sanity. Well, I keep my sanity most of the time, but perhaps Marty may have a different version.
My fondest memories of my mom were greeting me after school, not usually with a snack at hand, but when she was able, asking me about my day. There was a sense of security knowing she was always there for us. She seemed so strong and resilient and beautiful. I admired what she had done and was doing for me. I am not critisizing working moms by no means, but I miss the days when most moms were at home, not working outside the home. In this day and age, raising my kids as a stay at home mom, I generally felt in the minority. Whenever I went to a social gatherings and women,especially, would ask what I do for a living. Their "deer in a head lights" look gave way to their thoughts about my answer when I told them I stayed home with the kids. There was usually a pause and an overwhelming respectful answer of "Oh, that's so admirable........" or I got the short version, "oh", then they awkwardly walked away. Please understand when I say that some comments were genuine, but other times, it was not. I'm a whiz at reading people's social cues, and I could see the ones who were dumbfounded by my choice to stay home rather than work outside the home.
Recently, I got into my car, turned on the radio and heard, "Are you living a fruitful life, a powerful life, a knowledgeable life and a thankful life?" Ironically, a friend of mine and I were just discussing that very same question in our own lives. I listened intently to the message as I knew God wanted me to hear it at that moment. Those cues and messages are there all the time for us. Sometimes we may wonder if God is listening or cares what we need, and He does, and He reaches out to us with His answers through the radio, through friends and family, through nature, and other ways. We don't always realize it, but it's there. So that evening I listened to the radio, thinking about the many conversations Chrissy and I had talking about our dreams, our passions, our kids and spouses. Our life is here to be lived, and we have to choose to live it. God gives us the power in so many ways, and I think that power comes in time, living life, making choices, seeing our blessings, accepting God's graces. Those blessings come in small packages sometimes, and if we are to realize how powerful our life is, we must open our eyes and hearts to what is being said to us. All sorts of messages come our way, and for Chrissy, she continued to grow, listen, learn and hope.
I am so very thankful for the life I have lived and am living. We encounter bumps in the road, but we also feel the wind in our hair on a sunny day and so much more. If we have a fruitful life, a knowledgeable life, a powerful life and a thankful life.......we will have a purposeful life. My life with my sister, Chrissy, was purposeful, and I am forever grateful to our creator for her being a part of my life.
Life can only take place in the present moment. If we lose the present moment, we lose life.
By Buddha
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