My Buddy

What is it that attracts us to another human being?  I've often wondered that throughout my life as to why we gravitate towards certain friends and/or a significant other.  Some women like the "bad boy", the intellect or the funny guy.  Perhaps you're one of those cougars who is attracted to the money bags guy.  I know who I'm attracted to and why.  On this Father's Day I would like to dedicate my entry to my husband, Marty, who I consider an excellent husband, father and all around nice guy. 

Marty and I met when I was 23 years young.  My mother had just died the previous year when I was 22 so I was making a fresh start after a very difficult grieving time in my life.  I didn't quite know the direction I was going, but I knew that I had to move or I would die inside myself.  I know, especially now, that God had a plan for me in landing at this particular school site.  Sometimes when we're in our particular lives, we don't realize the impact of certain events in our lives until much later.  This school would be the place where I would meet my husband.  He was a teacher in the Special School District and I was an aspiring sign language interpreter who had just been hired to work as a Teacher's Assistant during summer school.  I was assigned to a Language room while Marty worked as a Behavior Disorder Teacher. (At least that's what they called it in those days)  I remember the first day I met him as I was waiting for my assigned classroom in the Springdale School office.  There he strolled in, wearing his athletic shorts and t-shirt, and I wondered what sort of guy would work in such a place - a  phase 3 setting, geared towards students with profound challenges.  Most of these kids had severe challenges such as behavior, wheelchair bound, mental delays and right off the bat I found myself attracted to him, if only for being there and doing what he did.  He taught the students who were likely to be sent to juvenile hall or ones who were steps away from their parents giving up on them.  My next meeting with him came when he did his paper work in our classroom because our room was one of the few classrooms in that building that had air conditioning.  Of course, back then I thought his motive was to meet me, but I think at the time air conditioning in the middle of the blistering summer meant more to him. 

I worked in a classroom with Magdy, another TA who happened to be from Egypt.  He was quite the character.   He actually encouraged me ask Marty out after I refused his suggestions to date one of his wealthy middle eastern friends.  At the time, American women were disappearing in those places of the world and my imagination got the best of me. I kindly told him "no" but my mind was set on Marty.  I didn't get my courage up to ask him out until many months later in the fall when I was assigned at his same school.  I was at a place in my life where taking chances were the only way to live.  If he told me "no" then so be it.  It would be his loss, right?!  That's what I told myself, but I knew I would have been devastated if he told me "no."

Our first date was supposed to be at a pig roast gathering at a friend's house, but that was cancelled so I invited him over for a home-cooked meal.  Why?  I don't know, because I never cooked a meal in my life really.  I called my older sister, Deni, about a Meyer family favorite of Italian Steak and mashed potatoes.  He politely ate them, but I know I've come a long way in my culinary skills since then.  He met Chrissy that night as well, but she wasn't so fond of him because of a sarcastic comment he made.  We're a very protective group of sisters, and it took her more time to get to know him.  Once she did, they were the best of buddies.  We had so much in common from the neighborhoods we grew up in, our Catholic and Polish backgrounds along with our family and friend connections.  It just so happened my brother-in-law knew him from Riverview and they mingled among the same crowds.  My sister did meet him earlier at a party, and little did she know that I would be married to him someday.  Our families knew of each other from our siblings up to our great uncles who also hung out during their time.  More importantly, I think we both felt the attraction towards each other and had the same sort of family upbringing.  It all seemed so perfect and here we are some 23 years later, married for almost 20 years in August. 

Marty's easy to please on this Father's Day weekend.  All he wanted was to spend time with me and his kids and enjoy some of his favorite foods.  We did the Six Flags thing yesterday and enjoyed some swim time at our community pool today.  I gazed upon him from my sun bathing chair across the pool where he played with our kids and our eyes met.  I love him more now than ever.  You hear of so many who divorce or separate, and I can't help but wonder.  Why us and why have so many others split?  We talk of this often when hearing of people we know divorcing.  We've come to the conclusion that we know each other too well and we talk too much to have divorce come before us.  I think with the losses we've had in our lives from his parents and my parents dying at such young ages along with my sister, Chrissy; we cherish each other and what we have.  We never lose sight of how important marriage and family are in this world of ours.  He laughed as he saw me dip my toe in the cool pool waters, being the Princess and the Pea that I am.  I don't like to plunge into cold, shocking waters suddenly....I take it cautiously and carefully.....same as I do in life.    Ironically, life is more like shocking cool waters than they are pampering and caressing.  Isn't life such a journey?  While I do tread in the sudden cool waters in life; I still prefer taking life cautiously.  Perhaps that's a lesson I am learning right now.  Hmmm?  Sometimes you're throw in, and you don't have a choice. 

You might be wondering why I entitled today "My Buddy".  Of course the obvious is that I married not only someone that I was attracted to and had a lot in common with, but I also married someone who was and is my friend who thought the same of me as I did of him. We tell each other most everything, and if we don't, we know it.  Nothing is left unsaid.  He might have some secrets, but his face always gives it away or perhaps I know him too well.  He's also a buddy to his children along with being the final say in our family.  He always supports them in their adventures and loves them unconditionally.  Finally, "Buddy" was the vacation name we have given to dad.  Recently, I have heard the name "mommy" and "barbie" so much that I have declared that they call me a different name during our vacation to Pensacola.  I will be called, "Summer."   So on this Father's Day, Summer gives many loving kudos to my husband for being the guy that he is.  Once he saved my life, everyday he makes me laugh, and he will forever be my one and only love and my buddy.

On the pleasant days of marriage, gaze across at your groom and conclude he is worth it.  On the difficult days of marriage, gaze up at your groom and conclude he's worth it.

  Beth Moore

Lemonade Stands Are Forever

What is it about the thrill of seeing a lemonade stand on the side of the road?  It triggers those faint memories from long ago for many of us.  Who doesn't love a good ol' fashioned lemonade stand with kiddos running the show?  If you haven't a clue what I'm talking about then you may have missed out on one of the best childhood  experiences of being a kid.  Whenever I see a group of kids trying to sell lemonade, I can't help but think of my own childhood.  Perhaps we should put a few lemonade stands in Washington then maybe there wouldn't be so many indiscretions now, would there?  On this beautiful Sunday my little girl asked me if she could have a lemonade stand of her own.  At first I was reluctant because there aren't many people who come down our end of the street, and creating this lemonade stand takes some time and a little bit of work.  I didn't want to diminish their hopes, but at the same time I didn't want all their hard work to go unnoticed.  While I like the privacy and safety of living in a culdesac; lemonade stands don't hardly stand a chance.  Then I thought again about my oldest son and his lemonade stand adventures, not to mention my own childhood memories.  Preparing the beverage of choice, gathering our friends around the street, purchasing treats from our neighborhood confectionary, creating the new price and feeling like we were going to strike it rich......all of it was good!  How could I say "no" to her when it wasn't about the money or even the customers; rather, it's about the fun of it all and they DID!  Oh, how much fun they had!

Just as I thought, the signs were created, lemonade was stirred, candy was found, a shoe box with change was given and there they were loving every minute of it!  The neighbor girls, Sophia and Isabella, even encouraged Faith and Luke to let them help, and they would divy up the profits later.  How clever!   Luke was riding down the street on his bike with lemonade signs taped to his shirt and the boisterous girls were yelling, "Lemonade for sale...50 cents!"  I made a call to my dependable dynamic duo, Susie and Cassie,  informing them of our plans.  I knew they wouldn't let me down. My neighbor called her sister as well.  No one was beating down the stand, but there were a few other customers and our kids were having a blast!  As I was planting my vegetable garden, I oversaw their activities.  From the side of my house, I waved wildly to a car that I thought was my niece's car who had stopped at the front of our house.  I was busy with my planting so I nonchalantly approached as the girls began to bring lemonade to the unfamiliar car.  Oops, it wasn't my niece at all, and I had forgotten to tell them about the stranger rule.  Luckily my  neighbor was outside, too, and the stranger happened to be a nice young mom with her toddler who was cruising neighborhoods searching for a house to buy.  I awkwardly laughed as I told her I thought she was someone else, but we had a friendly chat, and my little entrepreneurs were delighted.  Someone actually stopped to buy a cup of their lemonade.  I thought back to our lemonade stands in Glasgow Village where I was the youngest kid in the group, and my older brothers and sisters would make the rules, purchasing the sweets and naming the price. Neighborhood kids would join in with all the planning, and mom always enforcing the rules about never approaching strange cars......the customer had to come to our table.  Nowadays that wouldn't keep a crazed person from snatching a child.  Oh well, times have changed, but childhood lemonade stands never will. 

Cassie, Susie, Lucy and Kyle finally made their way down to our special event, and all was good!  Lucy embraced Faith's body like she was the best thing since sliced bread.  Lucy felt like she was one of the gang just as I did so very long ago.  One day, too, she'll play out this tradition and we'll celebrate life even if that means just sharing a cup of ice cold lemonade.  As we shut down our stand for the day, Luke looked at me and said, "That was really fun, mom......that was a lot of fun!"   The good mom moment was welcomed, saved and cherished......forever.

No matter what happens in life, some things never change and lemonade is one of them.  Even when you're given lemons, we just make lemonade because lemonade stands are forever!

The Torch Carries On

Like getting a vaccine shot or going for my annual Ob/Gyn examination, that's how I felt about this Friday's Relay for Life Walk at Lafayette High School.  That sounds really negative doesn't it?  I don't mean to sound that way at all, but the effort in doing this for me, for my sister, for all the others, while spiritually profound.....is also emotionally draining.  In fact, I found myself with virtigo the next morning, a condition that flares up more frequently in these passed few years.  I've experienced this when my kids were younger, but as I've aged, it seems to have gotten worse.  Anyway, enough about "aging ailments" as there's more important things in life to talk about.  With this walk, familiar friendships are renewed, loving embraces with kindred spirits and heartfelt stories are abound at this walk.  Some put their feet upon the track to walk in honor of a loved one, in memory for others or for themselves; I did it for my own mental health and for many who have passed onto their new life.  While I consider this walk one of the best charitable causes; it wasn't something I was looking forward to.  So many memories of our walks before filtered through my mind, and I knew it was going to be an emotional trip for me.  Not only thinking of my sister, my parents, my relatives and friends, but thinking of those who have the cancer today....not knowing what will happen tomorrow.  A phrase that has become my mantra is to "live in the moment."  Not always easy to live by, but I try. I can't always count on tomorrow so I live for today.  Sometimes that causes conflict in family plans, but that's where I find the most comfort......only thinking of today.  For those cancer patients who are living with the disease right now, today is what counts, but they find themselves forced to plan meds and treatments for tomorrow.  What is God's plan for me and where is this journey going to take me?   Each person has to decide on their own what they must do in this journey......their journey of life, healing, learning and hope. 

In my own journey, I felt the need to walk in this event, and I'm glad that I did.  I felt as though I was carrying the torch as I walked by each name.  If you've never participated in Relay for Life, the one poignant event of the night is to walk by each of the lit luminarias that line the perimeter of the track in the darkness.  Many of these names are of  people who have either dealt with the cancer or have died from it.  Ironically, my little sister's name happened to be placed right next to my dad's name.  How strange was that?  Especially since I had purchased 8 of them, and my selected names were all scattered all about the track except for Chrissy Corrao who was right next to my dad's luminaria,  Charles Meyer.  Who would have known the connection?  Usually the names are read aloud while the lights are turned off in the silence of the walk.  This time they listed the names on an overhead projector while a young woman spoke of her experience in having cancer.  As the lights were dimmed, she was giving hope to those who were afflicted and sharing her own journey and the positives of this cancer.  Yes, there are positives to this disease.  Through the pain comes learning and hope, not only for those who might get a cancer diagnosis but also for their caretakers, friends and family.  In all our life experiences.......the joys, the celebrations our heartaches, divorces, diseases, and even in death.......there is hope, understanding and joy.  That night, I was engulfed in my own emotions; still, I looked around and saw the impact this disease has on all families in all walks of life.  How could I not be here tonight?  There are so many great causes and it is up to each of you to find that one and support it.  It isn't just for the cause, but it is for YOU in your journey of living. 

As I walked the track with many familiar faces, I was supported by my son, Eric, who walked with me while we passed the lit up luminarias.  I did not cry on the outside, but perhaps by the look on my face he knew what I was feeling inside. "Are you okay, mom?" he asked so tenderly.  I choked back the tears and whispered, "I'm okay."  The torch was carried on that night, not only by me, but by so many others who walked, donated, prayed and thought of us who have lived amongst the cancer journey.  I walked for my sister, Chrissy, my dad -Charlie, Granny, Aunt Marie, Jeanette and David, Allison Haake, Mike Pemberton., Michael Powers, Diane Schnalzer and the countless other survivors and angels.  The torch was carried on in all your names.  May you all live on until we meet again.