What is it that attracts us to another human being? I've often wondered that throughout my life as to why we gravitate towards certain friends and/or a significant other. Some women like the "bad boy", the intellect or the funny guy. Perhaps you're one of those cougars who is attracted to the money bags guy. I know who I'm attracted to and why. On this Father's Day I would like to dedicate my entry to my husband, Marty, who I consider an excellent husband, father and all around nice guy.
Marty and I met when I was 23 years young. My mother had just died the previous year when I was 22 so I was making a fresh start after a very difficult grieving time in my life. I didn't quite know the direction I was going, but I knew that I had to move or I would die inside myself. I know, especially now, that God had a plan for me in landing at this particular school site. Sometimes when we're in our particular lives, we don't realize the impact of certain events in our lives until much later. This school would be the place where I would meet my husband. He was a teacher in the Special School District and I was an aspiring sign language interpreter who had just been hired to work as a Teacher's Assistant during summer school. I was assigned to a Language room while Marty worked as a Behavior Disorder Teacher. (At least that's what they called it in those days) I remember the first day I met him as I was waiting for my assigned classroom in the Springdale School office. There he strolled in, wearing his athletic shorts and t-shirt, and I wondered what sort of guy would work in such a place - a phase 3 setting, geared towards students with profound challenges. Most of these kids had severe challenges such as behavior, wheelchair bound, mental delays and right off the bat I found myself attracted to him, if only for being there and doing what he did. He taught the students who were likely to be sent to juvenile hall or ones who were steps away from their parents giving up on them. My next meeting with him came when he did his paper work in our classroom because our room was one of the few classrooms in that building that had air conditioning. Of course, back then I thought his motive was to meet me, but I think at the time air conditioning in the middle of the blistering summer meant more to him.
I worked in a classroom with Magdy, another TA who happened to be from Egypt. He was quite the character. He actually encouraged me ask Marty out after I refused his suggestions to date one of his wealthy middle eastern friends. At the time, American women were disappearing in those places of the world and my imagination got the best of me. I kindly told him "no" but my mind was set on Marty. I didn't get my courage up to ask him out until many months later in the fall when I was assigned at his same school. I was at a place in my life where taking chances were the only way to live. If he told me "no" then so be it. It would be his loss, right?! That's what I told myself, but I knew I would have been devastated if he told me "no."
Our first date was supposed to be at a pig roast gathering at a friend's house, but that was cancelled so I invited him over for a home-cooked meal. Why? I don't know, because I never cooked a meal in my life really. I called my older sister, Deni, about a Meyer family favorite of Italian Steak and mashed potatoes. He politely ate them, but I know I've come a long way in my culinary skills since then. He met Chrissy that night as well, but she wasn't so fond of him because of a sarcastic comment he made. We're a very protective group of sisters, and it took her more time to get to know him. Once she did, they were the best of buddies. We had so much in common from the neighborhoods we grew up in, our Catholic and Polish backgrounds along with our family and friend connections. It just so happened my brother-in-law knew him from Riverview and they mingled among the same crowds. My sister did meet him earlier at a party, and little did she know that I would be married to him someday. Our families knew of each other from our siblings up to our great uncles who also hung out during their time. More importantly, I think we both felt the attraction towards each other and had the same sort of family upbringing. It all seemed so perfect and here we are some 23 years later, married for almost 20 years in August.
Marty's easy to please on this Father's Day weekend. All he wanted was to spend time with me and his kids and enjoy some of his favorite foods. We did the Six Flags thing yesterday and enjoyed some swim time at our community pool today. I gazed upon him from my sun bathing chair across the pool where he played with our kids and our eyes met. I love him more now than ever. You hear of so many who divorce or separate, and I can't help but wonder. Why us and why have so many others split? We talk of this often when hearing of people we know divorcing. We've come to the conclusion that we know each other too well and we talk too much to have divorce come before us. I think with the losses we've had in our lives from his parents and my parents dying at such young ages along with my sister, Chrissy; we cherish each other and what we have. We never lose sight of how important marriage and family are in this world of ours. He laughed as he saw me dip my toe in the cool pool waters, being the Princess and the Pea that I am. I don't like to plunge into cold, shocking waters suddenly....I take it cautiously and carefully.....same as I do in life. Ironically, life is more like shocking cool waters than they are pampering and caressing. Isn't life such a journey? While I do tread in the sudden cool waters in life; I still prefer taking life cautiously. Perhaps that's a lesson I am learning right now. Hmmm? Sometimes you're throw in, and you don't have a choice.
You might be wondering why I entitled today "My Buddy". Of course the obvious is that I married not only someone that I was attracted to and had a lot in common with, but I also married someone who was and is my friend who thought the same of me as I did of him. We tell each other most everything, and if we don't, we know it. Nothing is left unsaid. He might have some secrets, but his face always gives it away or perhaps I know him too well. He's also a buddy to his children along with being the final say in our family. He always supports them in their adventures and loves them unconditionally. Finally, "Buddy" was the vacation name we have given to dad. Recently, I have heard the name "mommy" and "barbie" so much that I have declared that they call me a different name during our vacation to Pensacola. I will be called, "Summer." So on this Father's Day, Summer gives many loving kudos to my husband for being the guy that he is. Once he saved my life, everyday he makes me laugh, and he will forever be my one and only love and my buddy.
On the pleasant days of marriage, gaze across at your groom and conclude he is worth it. On the difficult days of marriage, gaze up at your groom and conclude he's worth it.
Beth Moore
No comments:
Post a Comment