Like getting a vaccine shot or going for my annual Ob/Gyn examination, that's how I felt about this Friday's Relay for Life Walk at Lafayette High School. That sounds really negative doesn't it? I don't mean to sound that way at all, but the effort in doing this for me, for my sister, for all the others, while spiritually profound.....is also emotionally draining. In fact, I found myself with virtigo the next morning, a condition that flares up more frequently in these passed few years. I've experienced this when my kids were younger, but as I've aged, it seems to have gotten worse. Anyway, enough about "aging ailments" as there's more important things in life to talk about. With this walk, familiar friendships are renewed, loving embraces with kindred spirits and heartfelt stories are abound at this walk. Some put their feet upon the track to walk in honor of a loved one, in memory for others or for themselves; I did it for my own mental health and for many who have passed onto their new life. While I consider this walk one of the best charitable causes; it wasn't something I was looking forward to. So many memories of our walks before filtered through my mind, and I knew it was going to be an emotional trip for me. Not only thinking of my sister, my parents, my relatives and friends, but thinking of those who have the cancer today....not knowing what will happen tomorrow. A phrase that has become my mantra is to "live in the moment." Not always easy to live by, but I try. I can't always count on tomorrow so I live for today. Sometimes that causes conflict in family plans, but that's where I find the most comfort......only thinking of today. For those cancer patients who are living with the disease right now, today is what counts, but they find themselves forced to plan meds and treatments for tomorrow. What is God's plan for me and where is this journey going to take me? Each person has to decide on their own what they must do in this journey......their journey of life, healing, learning and hope.
In my own journey, I felt the need to walk in this event, and I'm glad that I did. I felt as though I was carrying the torch as I walked by each name. If you've never participated in Relay for Life, the one poignant event of the night is to walk by each of the lit luminarias that line the perimeter of the track in the darkness. Many of these names are of people who have either dealt with the cancer or have died from it. Ironically, my little sister's name happened to be placed right next to my dad's name. How strange was that? Especially since I had purchased 8 of them, and my selected names were all scattered all about the track except for Chrissy Corrao who was right next to my dad's luminaria, Charles Meyer. Who would have known the connection? Usually the names are read aloud while the lights are turned off in the silence of the walk. This time they listed the names on an overhead projector while a young woman spoke of her experience in having cancer. As the lights were dimmed, she was giving hope to those who were afflicted and sharing her own journey and the positives of this cancer. Yes, there are positives to this disease. Through the pain comes learning and hope, not only for those who might get a cancer diagnosis but also for their caretakers, friends and family. In all our life experiences.......the joys, the celebrations our heartaches, divorces, diseases, and even in death.......there is hope, understanding and joy. That night, I was engulfed in my own emotions; still, I looked around and saw the impact this disease has on all families in all walks of life. How could I not be here tonight? There are so many great causes and it is up to each of you to find that one and support it. It isn't just for the cause, but it is for YOU in your journey of living.
As I walked the track with many familiar faces, I was supported by my son, Eric, who walked with me while we passed the lit up luminarias. I did not cry on the outside, but perhaps by the look on my face he knew what I was feeling inside. "Are you okay, mom?" he asked so tenderly. I choked back the tears and whispered, "I'm okay." The torch was carried on that night, not only by me, but by so many others who walked, donated, prayed and thought of us who have lived amongst the cancer journey. I walked for my sister, Chrissy, my dad -Charlie, Granny, Aunt Marie, Jeanette and David, Allison Haake, Mike Pemberton., Michael Powers, Diane Schnalzer and the countless other survivors and angels. The torch was carried on in all your names. May you all live on until we meet again.
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