The Bee and Me

Yesterday evening while reading on our deck, I had the most creepy, surreal experience with this huge, fuzzy, lingering bumble bee.  My son, Luke, referred to him as a Yellow Jacket.  Normally I'm not bothered by bees or whatever name they are given; however, last night this one was such a nuisance.  I had hoped to read in peace on such a gorgeous evening, but found myself annoyed by this hovering, little Yellow Jacket that kept buzzing around my head, practically glaring at me head on.  At first, I was not giving it much attention, but after 10 minutes of this buzzing sound near my ear, along with swishing, slapping behavior on my part; I found myself darting inside our house and staring at this bee from my glass doors.  This bee seemed to be staring me down, even through the glass doors.  It literally hovered in front of me back and forth for a good five minutes and then it would fly away, only to return and continue this routine back and forth for over  half an hour.  There's an irony about this bee thing that Frank and the rest of my family would agree.  Chrissy  was deathly afraid of bees......I mean a true hatred and fear of bees while I could care less.  In fact, at times she wanted to wipe them off the face of the earth and I would tell her how important they were to pollinating our crops and the environment.  That comment just set her free.  Last night, though, I discovered that I didn't want to be stung by this little pest either.....I was sort of afraid but intrigued at the same time.  When Chrissy was alive they didn't annoy me like they did her.  Last night was a different story, though.

Her fear of the bee was merited.  As a little girl, she was the one that the bees targeted.  That girl could be walking alongside ten other people, and I swear it would sting my sister first.  Quite often she got stung by bees while outside playing as a little girl.  Her fear was real, but as we grew into adulthood, I would often chuckle at her for being so frightened of the bees.  She would spot one many yards away and would often spring to her feet with a deep gutteral "ahhhhhooooooooooh".  It was quite humorous from the standpoint of the bystander, who did not have this phobia.  Eventually, as my children grew up around her, seeing this craziness kick in over a bee; I would blame her for their fear of the bee as well.  It was sort of a joke, and sometimes she would get really upset with me for smiling when I saw her be such a contortionist as the bee would buzz around her patio table.  She read somewhere that a Bounce Fabric Softener would repel bees so she tied one to her patio table.  I would sit there so relaxed and calm as bees would buzz here and there which would get Chrissy even more upset by my lack of caring. 

As I watched this Yellow Jacket hover in front of me; it dawned on me that perhaps.....just perhaps my sister was getting even with me.  I'm not sure if I believe in reincarnation as it is written in books, but I believe there is the possibility of our loved ones' spirits entering other entities or influencing other bodies,  if you will.  As I began chuckling on the other side of the glass doors; I thought to myself, "You little stinker!"   Maybe I'm grasping at straws,  finding my sister's spirit in a bee, but for those of us grieving........you get it, don't you.  Our eyes are open to the possibilites and miracles of what might be or what IS.  You may not agree with me, but I know what I felt.  The day was a weepy one for me, as those moments come and go for no apparent reason, but with the bee and me, there was a peace that surpassed all understanding.  That may sound crazy that I write of a bee.....yes, a bee, but what I hope you learn from this entry is not to discount the miracles that surround you.  Whether in the form of a bee, an animal, the flowers, the rain, your children, a friend or in a stranger......pay attention. Look around you and notice what's happening with your life and your loved ones' lives.  How simplistic it all seems; yet, we miss it everyday, those opportunities to see.  God is beyond what we can imagine but more simplistic than we know.  If we only gave Him a chance, all things are possible, aren't they?  For this moment, my friends, enjoy and savor.

"Things look up when you look to God"