It was about seven years ago or so when I met her. My little Faith was only a few months old when I was asked to join a Bunko group with a couple of friends and their friends and sisters and so on. Faith tagged along in her little baby car seat as I visited the game tables. Bunko is a mindless game which gives women the excuse to eat and drink and celebrate time from home. Let's face it, it gives us time away from being the moms and wives that we are and experience some time of women laughter. There were many welcoming Bunko guests whom I had never met, but one stands out from the moment I met her. She was the type of person who has a calming spirit, friendly, energetic, warm smile, and without a doubt, one of the most genuine, beautiful people I've ever met. She oooed and ahhhhhed over my precious little girl, and within minutes she would ask all sorts of questions about me and my family. A couple of years of knowing her through this game we played, she had developed breast cancer, and so that journey began. I believe it was around the Spring of 2007 when she first discovered her lump. Fortunately, while other doctors would have dismissed it as it didn't seem to register on her mammogram; he encouraged futher testing. With those tests, a lump was visible and her life had changed and so began the cancer journey. Within months, my sister was diagnosed with her own breast cancer in August of 2007, and we soon came to learn that the two of them had triple negative breast cancer. Without sounding too technical, simply put, triple negative was not the type of breast cancer you wanted to get. Although there is always hope; there are more limitations and less options available for this particular type. I suppose anyone given that diagnosis would certainly feel overwhelmed; yet, she still had a strong faith, hope and was an example of how we all should live our lives.
She came to know Chrissy through me as I realized the two of them had so much in common. At one time they were both hair stylists and both worked in medical offices, their husbands worked in IT, both grew up in a large family, and finally both were diagnosed with this beast......breast cancer. The commonality of their journeys was uncanny, and both came to know each other and support one another as each faced the trials and tribulations of this trip.
After Chrissy's death, she sent cards, wrote words of support to Frank and me while she herself was undergoing chemotherapy and continuous testing. She seemed to almost lick this disease, and then it would return with a vengence many times over. Chrissy and me encouraged her to start a Caringbridge site awhile back, which by the way, she wasn't thrilled about, as she was more of a private soul who would deal with it on her own terms. I respected that, but my sister was persistent, and low and behold Chrissy registered her on the wonderful site so that friends and family could support her. Chrissy knew the importance in her own journey of receiving positive notes from friends and family. At the beginning she was grateful; yet, still awkward with posting her updates. Perhaps she thought it was a burden to others, maybe she was more of a private person........I'm not sure......but she got use to it. My last contact with her was in mid July, and she was still so upbeat, even though the cancer had spread and now she was at Stage IV. Amid the trial possiblities and chemo, she stayed positive and faithful to God. She still inquired about Frank and the kids and my life. Always thinking of others before herself.....that's what I learned from her, too. I so admired her spirit and vitality, along with her warm beautiful smile. Later in August, she posted on her site about getting her kids ready for school, and I was still dumbfounded as to where she found the energy, but I know it was all about her kids and her husband. She seemed to be the active Catholic mom who was always involved and ready to help. There were so many others who knew her better than me, but I will be forever grateful for her role in my sister's life as well as mine. She encouraged and supported my sister so much. Two people, like so many others, understand what each one was living. This morning I learned that my bunko friend had taken her last breath and certainly entered God's kingdom. I have no doubt, my bunko friend, my sister's supporter is now at peace and embracing not only total joy but embracing my sister. I can only imagine their reunion as they speak of of us, those that mourn. While we still grieve, they are experiencing life beyond this one. My dear bunko friend, my sister......... I love you both!
To Patti's family and friends, I wish you all peace in the days that are before you. May God be with you in this journey......this journey of life filled with grief but also joy.
There is a time for joy.......it will come.
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