Who here hasn't had a pair of comfy shoes that they didn't want to release? Perhaps your pair of comfy shoes might be a ragged stuffed toy, worn and torn sweat pants or dated jeans? Each of my children has had and have items that help them sleep. My Faith clings to her "Phoebe" (a little stuffed dog), Luke clings to a special blanket since he had since birth (which by the way he released later this past year by choice), and Eric has his rain or ocean sounds that help him to sleep. In fact, all of my kids have noise echoing from their rooms every night. Marty and I laugh as to how anyone can sleep in this house with all the white noise. We truly cling to them because they bring us comfort. Some of us hang on to our comfy shoes like we hang onto our grief. We don't want to let it go, and that's okay. Because if we let go of all the grief, and "move forward" as some people say, then we let go of our loved ones who have passed. Grief doesn't mean that we are curled up in the corners of our room crying uncontrolably all the time. Some moments are like that, but mostly grief is remembering our loved ones in the way that keeps us living, feeling the anguish, growing and learning about our soul. We'll never let go of all of it, and for some of us, we must hang on to it like we hang onto our comfy shoes.
Lately, I've come to the realization that if I release all my grief, let it go, as some would suggest, then I would have to release all of my sister, my parents, my grandparents and so forth. With this New Year of 2011, I was inclined to set some goals. I am not the person who makes a New Year's Resolution set in stone and sticks to it. Generally, I put thoughts in the back of my mind of what I would LIKE to accomplish, but I never engrave it in stone. I am somewhat of a rule follower, but on the flip side, I don't like to make too many rules or keep those time commitments. Life changes in a flash, and for me, I've learned that time commitments are too confining. With this new year, though, I wanted to set some goals for myself that may not be very time specific, but they are goals.
Our parish priest talked about the family last week in his homily, and it struck a chord. During one of our family dinners, I decided to ask our kids about their wishes for the new year. With that being said, my Marty typed out a detailed list of his goals in all areas of his life from professional, to faith, to family and so much more. I commend him for his efforts, and I especiallly liked his goals pertaining to me, his wife. That's what inclined me to write some of my own goals and intentionally try to live by them.
Be more positive
Smile and mean it
Pray for those who hurt me
Love my children more
Question God less
Love my husband for the man he is
Love myself for who I am
Be present and listen for direction
You all can imagine that the one about Marty puzzled him. So for the record, what I meant is that when he doesn't do everything that I think he should, according to me.....I'm not going to make a comment about it. Of course, I'll still make some wise cracks at times. That's what sparks our marriage and why we love each other so much. Intentionally, I'm not going to go straight for his jugular, hurting his male ego. I think most women know what I mean by this.
At the start of my website last March, I mentioned that I would keep it real. My hope for this new year is to continue to keep it real. If I have to say it aloud, shout it to the mountains, read this list everyday; I will try to keep it real in my life and encourage others to do the same. I need my comfy shoes to ease the burdens of life, but I will also buy new ones. Try it for yourself. What are your comfy shoes? What will you keep and what will you throw away?
The best way to know God is to love many things.
- Vincent Van Gogh
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