With each of my children, they have their own unique talents, gifts, behaviors, goals and so much more. Sometimes I sit back in awe at what God has given me while other days I plop on my bed thinking, "GOD, WHAT HAVE YOU GIVEN ME!" Most days, though, I feel blessed by their special talents that are brought forth each and every minute. Some days there are challenges, caring for souls of different natures, but I realize that they were given to me by God to help them mature into the people they are meant to be. Today I write about my Luke, aka "Sugar Lips."
On this Spring break, Luke, given his nature, decided he wanted to do some spring cleaning. First, let me take you back to when I carried him under my heart, and the time of labor had begun. Earlier that day, there had been a false alarm, or so the hospital told me. I knew he was itching to get out, as I was eagerly awaiting his arrival, and a mother knows. It didn't matter what the doctors had said, I knew this baby was soon to be born. There we were on June 30th when they told us to go back home and wait it out; I wasn't dilated enough. I went back home and finished writing my bills. It was a sweltering summer day and the labor pains were happening more frequently. We settled in for the night, but I told Marty to be ready because I knew the pains were becoming more intense. Thus began our middle of the night adventure, traveling to the hospital. "They're going to be wrong this time; I know this baby's coming," with an agitation in my voice. As we registered into the maternity ward, I thought of the great pain it had taken me to get here. After Eric, we had experience two miscarriages so I had accepted the fact that perhaps we weren't going to parent any more children.
There we were in a quiet, dark maternity room of St. Luke's, somewhat relaxed really, and they told me to get some rest, and soon the fun would begin. The lights in the hospital room were low, Marty had just closed his eyes and I had settled in to a good position to catch a catnap. Then all hell broke loose. Within minutes, the nurse flew in our room, followed by 4 staff members because on their monitors they saw that the baby's heart beat had stopped. She asked me to move into a different position to see if this baby's heartbeat would show again. After a few tries, the beats began but were slow. It all seems like a blur right now, but one thing I remember was the fear that Marty and I didn't speak. After having 2 miscarriages, this baby was a long awaited gift, and knowing that something harmful might happen to this baby was more than I could speak. I saw it in his eyes, and if he had some food in front of him, Marty would have shoveled it down. When Marty gets nervous, he eats. You wouldn't know it by his slim build, but he does. When my water broke at home with Eric, I was gathering items for the hospital and Marty was walking around the kitchen, munching on a bag of chips. Long story short, Luke was born that early morning around 5:00 a.m. I've lost memory of some of the details, but one thing I'll never forget is the look on each of my children's faces when they were born. Luke was crying when he came out, and they whisked him away to check his vitals and clean him up, but he was perfect.
So here we are, nine years later and he's determined to clean this house on his terms. I don't tell him how to do it, as Luke has a mind of his own. I knew this early on after his birth, when his most comforted times were in my arms, fast asleep. He was different from Eric, but aren't all God's children? They each have their own personality, but Luke was different because sometimes I would call his name repeatedly as a toddler, but he wouldn't answer. It got to the point that I thought he might have a hearing loss, so we had him tested, but his hearing was normal. Sometimes, he would have this flapping motion or be mesmorized by your face or he would have an eye gaze that would last long enough to be noticed, and we would call his name, but he wouldn't respond. A mother knows things about their children that no one else knows. We didn't speak of it at first, but I knew something was different about Luke. Some of us are in denial about who they are, but I knew, and it didn't matter what you called it because he was my sweety boy, my sugar lips. As we entered him into preschool, the teachers loved Luke; although, there was some discussion as to diagnosing him a certain way, but Marty and me didn't like the "title" that was given. Honestly, we were probably not ready to accept it at that time, but we prayed and talked often about Luke's needs and what was best for him, not the teachers. After much discussion and testing, observation by our professional peers; we were ready to say it aloud. Our beautiful Luke, who has his own unique ways, humorous, sweet, and sensitive was diagnosed with mild autism last year.
I speak of Luke this day because we are so proud of how he has matured and learned so much this school year. He has progressed with his team of teachers in such a wonderful way, and we are so very proud of him. His educational years up to now have been successful; although, we've had our stressful moments with certain behaviors. He will perseverate on certain subjects like natural disasters, especially tornados and earthquakes. He weaves in and out with certain desires like science test tubes, living in an attic, buying a real live castle and traveling to various destinations. Sometimes, you never know what will come out of his mouth. Mostly it's humorous, and Marty and I smile as we listen to his intricate stories of his life, our lives together as a family and where we'll be, atleast from his perspective. I remember his reaction upon hearing of Chrissy's cancer, and he was very concerned. One thing of many that I adore about Luke is that he will just "put it out there" without any filter. I so love that about him. He wasn't afraid to say that Aunt Chrissy might die, but we are going to pray that she doesn't. He spoke those words as a 7 year old, and when you hear it from a young soul, it's quite emotional.
I remember one night when Luke was only weeks old, and I was so tired. Chrissy came over, and Luke wasn't sleeping at night, not even in my arms. He cried excessively, and I must have said to her, "I can't do this. I'm not a good mom." She smiled at me, and said, "Oh yes you are." She cradled him in her arms and bounced on the side of the bed. Miraculously Luke fell asleep in her arms. She taught me that night to never give up on him, and ever since then, I haven't. There might be days of frustration as any parent has, but I will never give up on him. Early on he began to suck on two of his fingers, and that was enough to pacify him that night, too. As my Luke cleans the house today, he smiles.....he smiles and sees all the dreamlike possibilities that we sometimes loose sight of, and I love that he brings that into our lives. He continues to remind me that I must clean my toilet as he has cleaned the other two, and I smile. He's quite the character, and today, for some reason or other, I feel the need to honor him, my Sugar Lips.
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