Warm Fuzzies

As Maria was cuddling with me while she was reading her books last night, I felt warm and fuzzy, remembering that our life is not about grief.  Right now, we're experiencing all the side effects of grief.....sadness, numbness, anger, new duties, loneliness, fear, feeling disconnected and so on.  There are more, and they tend to cycle around.  Death is always a part of life, and there's no stopping it or controlling it, and when our loved ones pass over, we learn to live in a new way.  We know they're with us, but life will never be the same without their physical presence; it's awkward and different.  As much as the person on the sidelines doesn't know what to say;  often the person grieving doesn't know what to say either.  It all depends on the moment, but never miss an opportune moment when you can help or say something that would make a difference.  Try not to say to yourself, I wish I woulda, coulda or shoulda.  The slightest word or action could be a warm fuzzy for a friend, a neighbor, a stranger. Blessings abound in death, too, whether we recognize them or not.......there is joy, and that joy is even more profound through death.  Joy in nature, joy in the face of your children, joy in the friendliness of a stranger, joy in familiar smells, joy in memories. 

As we were reading, I saw Maria's body move back as it was my turn to read, and in my peripheral, I could feel her eyes studying my face.  In my heart, I felt she was searching for her mom, possibly recognizing some similarities of her mother's features.  On the other hand, there could have been a piece of food resting on my upper lip.  Either way, I was reminded of the simple pleasures of life, the warm fuzzies, the graces God has given us, and hoping that I could make a difference in my actions and my words with her.

Today I wanted to share the simple pleasures or warm fuzzies of life that make me smile:

Hugs from my kids, and especially when they want to cuddle with me
Hugs from Marty
The giggling of my children
The setting sun
The rising sun
Shapes of the clouds in front of a blue sky
Dairy Queen icecream.....shoot, any good icecream dipped in chocolate or hot fudge
The smell of a child's hair, especially my own, after their bath
Hearing the voice of Marty over the phone during a work day to see how I'm doing
Watching my children breathe after they fall asleep
Seeing a turtle cross a busy street....the determination
Watching a duck swimming carefree in a pond
Connecting with my sister's eyes, even in the face of a terminal diagnosis
Standing in front of an ocean; hearing those same sounds in my own house from the sound machine
Autumn, my dog, licking my feet (strange as it is, but it makes me smile, who else would do that?)
A baby falling asleep on my shoulder (I love when our little Lucy does this....it's been so long for my own)
My dog walking by my side constantly through the house
The warmth of the sun on a breezy day, esp the fall, but I'll take the springtime, too
Walking through the neighborhood, with a gentle breeze, listening to my favorite tunes
Drinking an ice cold beer when I'm really thirsty......
Sitting on my deck, looking out at the trees and watching nature at work
Reading a great book that I can't put down
Spotting a deer in my yard, but they don't see me
A great meal............shrimp made any way would be a favorite
Comfort foods, especially the fried, crunchy kind
Homemade popcorn made on the stove with a cold beverage
Susie's Chicken Paprikash
Walking into a movie theater and smelling the buttered popcorn
The sweet aromas of a bakery
Biting into a good batch of my chocolate chip cookies
The baby powdered freshness of a newly changed baby's diaper
Watching a toddler make a new discovery
Biting into a thick, rich piece of cheese cake
Hearing the excitement in their voices when my kids have been successful in some endeavor
Receiving a special card, letter or email from a friend or family member which says they are thinking about me
Being in the company of positive energy
Feeling the presence of my sister's spirit
Feeling the presence of God
Cuddling in a warm blanket when the wind is whirling outside
Laying near a heater in my closet when all have gone to sleep
Hearing the belly laughter of Frankie and Maria.....it's so contagious
The good health of my loved ones

Finding blessings in the brokenness is a step towards healing.....not forgetting.....but healing, and the warm fuzzies are those reminders of how blessed I am.

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny"

         -Gandhi